Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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