So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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