whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
