I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
