im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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