the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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