So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Found the puke drawer
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
