You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
