it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
