How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
