yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize