I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
