this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
