Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
