So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
