your parents love me but you hate me
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
