went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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