she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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