I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
