Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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