I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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