Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
