Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
