My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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