stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
