i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
