Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
