the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
