how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
