Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize