Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
His nipple licking is glorious
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