yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
