I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Less talking, more tequila
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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