Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
