I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
i've created a new STD.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
