we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
