Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
