...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
We're facebook friends in real life
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm sobbing to NWA
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
