you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
