i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
