OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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