I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
