So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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