I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
