She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
ok first of all what the fuck
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
