4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
well you can't waste a boner
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
