i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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