just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize