she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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