I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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