Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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