3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
