Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
