his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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