He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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