Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
