Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
