between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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