I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
