i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
