i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize