if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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