There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Randomize
