Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
