so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize