So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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