I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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