I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
