3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
When are your genitals available?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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