Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
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