When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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