ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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